Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
