dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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