That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
