Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
