Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
