I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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