Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
