he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
