Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
