Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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