conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
