Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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