Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
