Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
