Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
