Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
