Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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