K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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