"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
