This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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