I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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