I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
