i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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