You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
birth control should be required to get into college
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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