Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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