She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
