When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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