We won't sleep together?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
