Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
