TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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