it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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