I have demons in me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
