Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Panties = found
Randomize
