member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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