If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
