; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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