why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
