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I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
