Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
