The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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