I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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