I think my fart just growled at me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
