She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
