lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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