Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize