I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
