So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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