I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
