Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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