At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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