can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
