I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
