i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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