He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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