oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
