I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
