Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize