I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
