We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
