She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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