How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
