A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She bit a glass in half.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
