We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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