Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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