just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everyone says I win the strip club
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
