problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
