I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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