That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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