U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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