No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
